In the past couple of weeks, I have heard some of you talk about an imposing and consuming force wrecking havoc…overwhelm.
Let’s open the closet door and turn on a light to look at this most hideous monster. All of you know what overwhelm feels like so I won’t wear out your adrenal glands regaling you with the symptoms of this monstrosity. Suffice it to say it feels like going through a car wash without your car.
Like most monsters, once you shine a light on them, they turn out not be a monster at all. Yet, if you don’t stop to look, the roar gets louder, the pounding gets harder and light can fall into darkness.
Why? What is it that creates that feeling of overwhelm?
Before I answer that, let’s take that question a step further. Suppose for just a moment – go on the ledge with me – that overwhelm might have a positive intention?
I know, I know, stay with me.
Overwhelm is a feeling. Feelings are a part of you. Feelings are not who you are.
So, then let’s suppose that this PART of you had a positive reason for being. What might it be trying to tell you?
(Stop reading. Take a minute to answer. I’m not going anywhere.)
What did you hear?
Because this is a post and not a face-to-face session, I will share with you what I have heard in various cases. Overwhelm is telling me:
* to slow down
* to get out of my head and move into my heart/body
* to see where I am not taking time for what is important to me
* to pay attention to what I feel I need right now
* that I’m too overrun by responsibilities and obligations to others
* that I’m doing more than I can handle or have actual time for
* that I’m doing too many ‘should’s’
* that things are not going as I expect and I am trying to control it.
Overwhelm said “Look here. Something within is not getting attention. You’re in overdrive. Slow down. Listen for the cues.” A cue could be a tension headache, neck ache, feeling of irritation, short-temperedness, frustration, confusion, internal pressure and the like.
A cue can also be found in what you say after you express how you feel. For example, I am so overwhelmed, I have no time for myself. I am so overwhelmed, I haven’t had any time to write like I said I would. I am so overwhelmed I haven’t walked this week. I am so overwhelmed I can’t even get to (fill in need/want here).
If you asked the question above – What is overwhelm’s positive intention? and received an answer – what do you do now?
Step 1 – A simple salve to start is to tell overwhelm you’ve received its message and you are working on it. It’s like a 3-year old calling your name over and over again because you’re not answering them – turn and acknowledge. I hear you. I’m freaking out right now. But I hear you. I see you. What?!
Step 2 – Listen for what that PART of you needs.
Step 3 – Do even the smallest action to begin to quell the feeling. Take that 10 minute walk (no cellphones allowed.) Sit quietly and acknowledge that fear or resistance. Call a friend to share your feelings. Say ‘no’ to something or someone, or remove something from your schedule.
Final Step – Be gentle with yourself. All important and under-rated.
Bonus Step – To take it one step further, you could thank overwhelm for what it revealed. Overwhelm was tapping on your shoulder, rather annoyingly, to say ‘Look here. This needs your attention. You need your attention.’ All along Overwhelm has been trying to shine a light for you.
Dating Profile: Over Whelm
Meet Over Whelm. Open to all genders. S/he is a modern wo/man who demands s/he can have it all if only s/he does it all. Over Whelm’s strengths are tying people in knots, making them feel like they have no control and will explode at any moment. S/he has a gift for making you feel like you have 100 monkeys on your back. Over Whelm’s super-strength includes demanding even more from you than you thought you could handle and then telling you you’re doing it all wrong and not fast enough. (hehehe!)